The Left-Behind Man: How We Updated Womanhood But Forgot Masculinity

Introduction: The Forgotten Narrative

In the decades following World War II, society began rewriting the role of women with energy, clarity, and purpose. Women were encouraged to express emotion, pursue education, enter the workforce, and challenge tradition. And rightly so.

But while we updated the story of womanhood, we failed to rewrite the story of man.

To understand why that matters, we must first recognise that masculinity itself is not a biological law—but a cultural narrative. It’s a socially constructed script—shaped by folklore, religion, policy, media, and need. Masculinity has always been moulded by what a society demands of its men at a given moment: protectors in war, providers in peace, stoics in crisis. In essence, masculinity is a kind of cultural folk tale—handed down from generation to generation—not just to define men, but to produce the kind of men society believes it needs.

This concept is well supported in academic literature. Sociologist R. W. Connell coined the term hegemonic masculinity to describe how societies privilege certain forms of male behaviour—such as toughness, economic provision, and emotional control—while marginalising others. These traits are not fixed or universal; they change with time and context.

Anthropologist David D. Gilmore, in his cross-cultural study Manhood in the Making, found that while virtually all societies have some concept of manhood, the definitions vary widely. In some cultures, manhood is earned through warfare; in others, through fatherhood or economic contribution. This suggests that masculinity is a performative role adapted to the local needs and values of a culture.

“Being a ‘real man’ is not something that happens biologically; it’s something that must be achieved culturally, often through trial, suffering, and public recognition.”

— David D. Gilmore

When the world changes and that script is not updated, men are left playing a role that no longer fits the stage.

The result? A growing number of men adrift—emotionally stunted, performative, or silently disengaged. Masculinity wasn’t reformed. It stagnated.

“The tragedy of modern man is not that he knows less and less about the meaning of his own life, but that it bothers him less and less.”

— Václav Havel

The Post-War Reset

When the Second World War ended, millions of men returned home to a changed society. Women had taken up roles in factories, transport, healthcare, and government. But instead of evolving the masculine script to match this new balance, society doubled down on a narrow vision: the stoic provider.

The emotional aftermath of war was buried beneath breadwinning. Men weren’t encouraged to process trauma—they were expected to rebuild without question.

Stat: UK studies show that over 90% of men who served in WWII never received formal psychological support post-discharge.

“The war gave men purpose. Peace gave them silence.”

— Paraphrased from post-war sociological commentary

The Feminine Evolution

The 1960s and ’70s ushered in a tidal wave of cultural and legislative change for women. The seismic shifts included:

Feminist theory, driven by figures like Betty Friedan and Simone de Beauvoir, redefined female agency and identity.

Birth control and reproductive rights gave women bodily autonomy and control over their futures.

Laws like the UK Equal Pay Act (1970) and Sex Discrimination Act (1975) dismantled legal barriers to equality.

Media representation shifted: women were no longer confined to housewife or romantic lead—they became professionals, leaders, and agents of change.

Society actively encouraged women to question, grow, and redefine themselves. The story of womanhood was not just updated—it was reauthored.

But the masculine script stayed the same—or, perhaps more detrimentally, remained unaddressed. Boys were still raised on outdated ideals: strong, silent, and emotionally restricted.

Stat: Between 1950–1990, university attendance for women in the UK rose five-fold. For men, it plateaued.

“Men are not given a way to reflect on their gender. Women’s liberation gave women a lens. Men were left staring at their own reflection.”

— Dr. Niobe Way, Psychologist

This lack of evolution began to fracture male identity. Without societal permission to evolve emotionally or spiritually, men found themselves unsure of where they fit in a rapidly changing world. Some adapted. Many retreated.

“Men were left with power, but no purpose. Rights without reflection. Status without script.”

— Dusty Wentworth

The Vacuum of Modern Masculinity

Fast forward to Millennials and Gen Z—two generations raised in a world that no longer seems to know what masculinity is supposed to be.

These boys inherited:

A culture deeply suspicious of traditional masculinity (often linked to discourses around “toxic masculinity”)

No clear rite of passage to manhood

Father absence in many families

Stat: In the UK, one in four boys grows up without a resident father. In the US, the number is one in three.

They also faced:

Widespread withdrawal into social media, gaming, and digital distraction

The collapse of traditional mentoring environments like Scouts, cadets, and apprenticeships

A social script defined more by “what not to be” than “what you can become”

Psychology of Delay & Confusion

Contemporary developmental theory describes emerging adulthood—a prolonged phase between adolescence and full independence—as more pronounced in modern men. Without guidance or structured expectations, many males remain suspended—gifted neither responsibility nor initiation.

The COVID Lockdown Effect

COVID lockdowns made a bad situation worse. Disrupted routines, severed social bonds, and growing isolation hit young men especially hard.

Stat: A 2021 study published in The Lancet Regional Health found that young men in the UK reported higher levels of anxiety, depression, and digital dependency than any other group during lockdown.

The British Medical Association also reported a rise in behavioural issues, addiction, and self-harm among adolescent males—effects that lingered long after restrictions ended.

Filling the Vacuum: Influencer Masculinity

Into this void stepped a new breed of mentors—often online, loud, and controversial. From manosphere YouTube channels to hyper-masculine influencers preaching dominance and detachment, young men were offered performance over substance.

While these spaces aren’t intrinsically malevolent, their prevalence highlights a deeper systemic failure: the absence of real-world mentoring and grounded male guidance.

“Be strong, but not domineering. Be vulnerable, but not emotional. Be a man—but not that kind of man.”

“We’ve warned boys about toxic masculinity without ever showing them what healthy masculinity looks like.”

— Richard V. Reeves, Brookings Institution

The result isn’t just disengagement. It’s existential confusion. They’re not lazy—they’re lost.

The Consequences of Disconnection

The collapse of a meaningful masculine script has consequences—personal, familial, economic, and societal. But the reverse is equally true: when men reconnect—with purpose, mentorship, and emotional integrity—it benefits everyone.

Education & Mentorship

Communities with strong adult male mentors see youth with 20% higher academic, social, and career outcomes, and 30% fewer behavioural problems.

Data from the US “natural mentor” study shows fatherless adolescents with mentors earn, on average, £150,000 more in lifetime income—£360,000 more for Black youth.

Mental & Emotional Health

Secure father–child relationships foster stronger emotional regulation, lower rates of substance use, and better stress responses in adult sons.

Children’s wellbeing improves when fathers contribute actively—better language skills, reduced anxiety, and fewer behavioural issues.

Family & Society

Studies consistently show shared parenting results in better physical and mental health outcomes for both children and parents.

Maternal stress, depression, and wellbeing improve when fathers are more engaged—a positive multiplier effect across households.

Outcome Impact of Reconnecting Men

Educational & economic Better grades, higher earnings, reduced behavioural issues

Mental & emotional health Lower stress, lower substance abuse, better emotional regulation

Family stability Stronger relationships, lower maternal burden, healthier kids

This isn’t hypothetical. The data tells a clear story: when men show up with intention—not ego—they rebuild:

Children who learn responsibility, confidence, and emotional depth

Families that share the emotional load and thrive in stability

Societies that benefit from more engaged, purposeful citizens

Closing Chapter: Reclaiming the Masculine Standard

Masculinity is not the enemy. It is not inherently violent, cold, or oppressive. It is a cultural role that, when left unexamined, can become distorted—but when reclaimed with intention, can anchor families, build communities, and shape resilient men.

We don’t need to discard masculinity. We need to update it.

What That Requires

Honest Conversations – Creating safe, serious spaces for men to reflect and connect without judgement

Male Mentorship – Fostering real-world accountability, not performative influence

Emotional Education – Teaching boys how to regulate, not suppress their feelings

Cultural Representation – Showing men who are whole, not hollow, in media and public discourse

Structural Support – Investing in male mental health, fatherhood, and support systems

“We didn’t lose masculinity. We abandoned it. Now we must rebuild it—honourably, intentionally, and together.”

— Dusty Wentworth

Call to Action: It’s Time to Rebuild—Together

If we want to reduce youth crime, address male health disparities, stabilise families, and lift entire communities—we must stop treating masculinity as a problem to be shamed, and start treating it as a foundation to be rebuilt.

Men don’t need vilification.

They need vision.

They need values.

They need visibility.

If you're a man: show up. Mentor. Lead with honour. Be the standard your son, your daughter, your community can rely on.

If you're part of society: invest in boys. Encourage men. Fund male mental health. Make space in your narrative for good men to exist and thrive.

A healthier masculinity builds stronger families, relationships, and communities.

Author Bio:

Dusty Wentworth is dedicated to exploring societal narratives and advocating for frameworks that promote individual and communal well-being.

What are your thoughts on modern masculinity? Share your perspective in the comments below.