Dusty Wentworth

  Modern masculinity is caught between conflicting messages. At one extreme, men are offered a loud, performative version of manhood built around aggression, dominance, wealth, physical appearance and the need to be seen as powerful. At the other, traditionally masculine qualities are treated with such suspicion that strength is confused with aggression, restraint with emotional repression, authority with oppression and protectiveness with control. Neither extreme offers men, particularly young men, a useful model by which to live. One tells them that manhood must be constantly proved. The other can leave them wondering whether manhood itself is something for which they should apologise. Perhaps that is why an old saying continues to carry so much weight: Manners maketh man. The language belongs to another age. The principle does not. The wisdom behind old words Many traditional sayings contain ideas that remain relevant even when their wording needs updating. “A man’s word is his ...

  When Brain Injury Takes Away Your Emotions People often assume the hardest part of a brain injury is the physical damage. The speech difficulties. The wheelchair. The things other people can see. For me, it’s none of those things. The hardest part is that I no longer experience emotion. I understand emotions intellectually, but I can no longer feel them in the way I once did. For a long time, I thought my greatest challenge was memory loss. Following a ruptured brain aneurysm in April 2024, I lost more than 14 years of my life. When I first woke after surgery, I told my wife, “It’s all right. I’ll just make new memories.” It sounded logical. What I didn’t understand was that memories aren’t simply facts stored inside our heads. They help construct our identity. Our experiences, relationships, successes, failures, joys and losses gradually shape the person we become. Without those memories, and without the emotional threads connecting me to those that remain, waking up felt like b...